Frustration

Dear people of the world, please stop with the name calling and the veiled innuendos or frankly overt meanness... Being a Liberal or Conservative isn't inherently bad, nor does it make the person of either label stupid or smart. For many, in my humble opinion, it means clinging to an ideology you don't fully understand, but one that helps you be very quick to judge the person with the "opposite" label. We have far too many problems in the country and the world for this labeling and name calling to continue. It either feeds into the mob mentality or automatically puts people on the defensive.

Are guns an issue? Whether you want more gun control or not, people dying is an issue...I think we can all agree we'd like less of that...seems to me there should be a way to help that happen...seems to me most people think back ground checks are a good thing...even at gun shows and for private sales...will closing loopholes prevent attacks like Las Vegas? maybe. Do we need better mental health care in this country? You bet! Do we need to take away guns from responsible gun owners? No. I don't know what the answer is, or even where to begin, but in doing nothing, more people are dying.

 

Kneeling during the National Anthem...Here again, whether you support the athletes kneeling or not, we need to recognize that those athletes kneeling are doing so as a sign of protest, as a sign of frustration, and a sign of distress.  No athlete I know would ever kneel during the anthem, because they felt like it on a whim.  I kneel a lot given my job in all kinds of situations and never once have I been told the action is disrespectful.  It's not like the athletes are turning their back to the flag, or have anything but respect for our military.  But clearly something is wrong with systems in the country if athletes are willing to make that bold of a statement.  And before getting all hot and bothered about how disrespectful it is to our military or our veterans or our county...have you noticed the state of veterans affairs lately?  Have you asked a vet how long it takes to get seen at the VA?  Have you wondered out loud about what kind of pay they are getting?  Most of the answers to those questions are downright shameful, and are not in any way part of the thanks of a grateful nation.  If you want to get all hot and bothered about something, get all hot and bothered about that.

 

Healthcare.  Really?  Really?  Hello Congress, until you all have to deal with the same health plan I do, I don't want to hear a word...not one peep.  Y'all don't live in the real world.  Y'all talk a big talk about how terrible health care and health insurance is in the country, but you don't have to worry one bit about it.  Your health care costs are covered from now until death.  Do things need tweaking?  Sure, but not in any way I have seen any of you attempt it so far. Stop saying what you think we want to hear to get you reelected and actually do some work for the people you serve. 

Am I frustrated?  Can you not tell?  People in Flint still don't have clean water, we can send people to the moon but we can't get needed supplies to a devastated island, we are antagonizing North Korea, the Klan and their ilk are alive and well and the president needs to be banned from twitter.  Nothing to be frustrated about there...  Seriously, we can't keep doing this!  Just stop it already...

And in the morning light...go call your congress people, donate blood, volunteer in a school, tell someone that needs to hear it that you value them as a person just the way they are, give money to a reputable organization.  Keep being frustrated. Make better choices.  Give someone a hug(after asking their permission).  Keep Crying in the wilderness.  Have a civil and frank discussion with someone in the "other" category.  Try to see where they might be coming from. Resist.  Persist.  Know that you are not alone.  Sigh, and then sigh again.  Keep on keeping on.  

Until the next time I get so frustrated I have to get this all out, and don't dare to post it on facebook,

-C

Resetting once again

Don't die of shock...this is likely the first post in 3-4 years.  One of my New Year's resolutions was to write more, so as of March 3, here we go.

It's Lent, which for me always leads to introspection...about lots of things in the world, and lots of things in my life.

A reset button on life sometimes sure would be nice.  Don't get me wrong, my life is full of a great many things, but sometimes it seems that if I had done x,y,z differently my life might be better.  (It also could be worse I know). 

So in the spirit of being more consistent in posting on this blog, and working on resetting things I actually have a wee bit of control over here is what I am working on this month...

1.  Reading more for fun, and more for work...

• For fun, I am currently reading a book on the Tudor monarchies.   It's amazing how much backstabbing and such goes on behind the scenes and how much monarchs relied on fear.  I am in the middle of Henry VIII's reign at the moment.  It will be interesting to see how things change with Mary and Elizabeth, if they do.
•  For work, our Bible Study/Adult Ed class is reading When God Speaks through you: How faith convictions shape preaching and mission by Bishop Craig A. Satterlee.  It's been a very interesting experience talking about preaching as the preacher with a good group of the hearers of my preaching.  It's somewhat of a given that what preachers say is often not what is heard, but it's also very interesting what insights people are willing to share.  It's been an informative class so far

2.  Moving more, and eating less...

• Now we all know most of us could work on their health and I am no exception.  I was gifted a fitbit at the beginning of the year, and I think it's made a difference, or at least starting to.  I am much more aware of how little I move some days, especially my days off, and am trying to do something about that.  I think food will always be a challenge, since I really like to eat, but again hopefully I am becoming more aware of things, and will make some healthier choices.  No you won't see me start to eat salads as lettuce is still one of the banes of my existence, but more veggies, fruit, whole grains, etc.
• A request:  Please for the love of all things, unless I talk to you specifically about what I am doing and what I am working on regarding my health, DON'T BRING IT UP!!!  The last thing I want or need is people policing my meals, walks, workouts, etc unless I have asked them to.  Don't make what you think will be helpful suggestions, unless I ask!  Don't tell me it looks like I have lost weight!  If I want to talk about it, I will seek you out.  I am not trying to be mean, but I am also trying to limit unintentional sabotage.  My relationship with my body and food in general is complicated enough as it is.  Yes I know I am posting this on a blog for the world to see, but part of that is thinking and processing "out loud" which is very helpful to me at the moment.  

3.  Being politically aware and active in a crazy world without losing my sanity.

• I find myself in an odd position these days...As a pastor, I cannot and will not endorse  any political candidate from any party while in the pulpit, because to do so would threaten the church's tax exempt status.  But as a pastor I am also part of the community in which I serve and the world at large.  My undergrad degree is in International Relations with a focus on Health, and I cannot separate out that part of me anymore than I can separate out the pastor part of me.  I consider myself fairly politically astute.  I struggle with honoring the idea that I am pastor to a congregation of all political leanings, and a long and sorted history of Lutherans being silent when they should have been shouting from the rooftops.  I detest the polarization and immutable dichotomies we seem to have in this country with no one looking for a true middle ground, but instead more things to prove their point.  I wish elections were truly about the good of all, instead of who has the most money or the loudest voice or the most influential friends.  I wish people would remember things like it is possible to be a fiscal conservative and a social democrat(or whatever seemingly at odds labels you can think of) at the same time and it can be a very good thing instead of all or nothing of whatever label we seem to cling to.  
• I want and need to support my friends, all of them, but especially the ones who identify in a minority community... especially the ones who are feeling persecuted, who fear for their lives and safely, the ones who feel society has turned their back on.  I love my friends for exactly who they are no matter what their demographics.  I have been watching the powerful series "When We Rise" on ABC this week.  I find myself teary most nights for so many people who are a part of the LBGTQAI community who have senselessly died or have been brutally assaulted or have to constantly struggle for the same right and privileges I am accorded as a straight woman.  I live a life of privilege compared to most...and it's a privilege to even say I am struggling with this instead of living it.    

4.  Music is a great balm for my soul these days.

•  It might be 15 minutes or more of time spent at church playing the piano when no one else is around.  
• I often find myself singing in the sanctuary when I am the only one in the building because of the great acoustics. 
• I find myself listening to either mostly classical music or 80s/90s country these days...which brings me back to my youth, my parents, the farm and the like...classical because it allows me think, and 80s/90s country cause the words almost overflow out of my memory.
• No discussion of music would be complete with out mentioning Pentatonix... a 5 member acapella band that is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...go listen/watch here:   Pentatonix on Youtube
• Or check out Mario Jose here:  Mario Jose
• Or Us the Duo who opened for Pentatonix on their North American Tour  Us the Duo 

Wow, that's a lot...a good start I'd say...hoping to keep this kind of thing up weekly, but monthly for sure.

Catch you on the flip side,
Chrisy

Stream of consciousness ponderings

Trying to get this going again....yes I know I have said that before...we'll see how long this lasts....

Ponderings of the day

1.  the last of New Life's youth heads to college today...Here's hoping for a year full of fun, challenge and growth for all of them

2.  Trying to schedule vacation is always a challenge, in part because it's hard to find coverage,  in part because I have a hard time saying no, and in part because going on vacation costs money I don't have.  All that being said, vacation 1 of my remaining 2 is scheduled for the end of the month...a little work/continuing ed to start off with in Columbus, a little actual vacation in Lansing and then perhaps a little staycation back at home.

3.  I think I overdosed on football a little this weekend....5 games between Saturday and Sunday...and of course there's more tonight.  Some teams I liked won, others lost.  Either way it's good to have football back

4.  It's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow....in September, in Northern Michigan.  YUCK!!!  

5.  Gonna try and start working though my pile of 15 some odd books in my read pile....as well as others on my kindle...Mondays seem to be a good day to tackle that given I usually work from home

well that's a good start....perhaps I will attempt to do a weekly pondering list and go from there...

Later gaters!

ponderings o the evening

Lots of ponderings running through my head this night.... from the up close and personal to the worldly and somewhat removed

Wondering what will happen with/to the member who has more test at the hospital...

Wondering what the future hold for another 17 year old member whose whole life has potentially been changed after surgery...

Wondering when the politicians will stop blaming each other, and actually work for a solution for the problems of this county...

Wondering why on earth there are still starving children in this world

Wondering how to better treat my body as the temple of the Lord's it is

Wondering why we can't all just agree to disagree instead of being mean to each other

I could go on but you get the point...most of those things above I will have to keep pondering...

i hate it when my atheist friends are better Christians than I am

It has been eons since I posted here...I should try to get back in the practice of doing so...

So I have been contemplating my public face the past couple of days after a discussion with a good friend of mine who identifies as an atheist....

I had posted (on facebook)a link to a blog from a bishop who talked about insiders and outsiders in the church and why mainline denominations were losing people. My friend raised many good points including the fact that mainline denoms. are losing people because the crazies like Westboro Baptist or Jack Van Impe are those that Christianity is identified with.  I would have  serious doubts about being a Christian too, if that is what I thought Christians were.  I mean Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer can often make me cringe, but at least they can say a lot of things I find value in if I look hard enough, in the midst of their prosperity gospel shtick

I do agree with that for the most part, but I am unsure how to get the word out that many Christians are not not protesting military funerals,and are not trying to ban inner racial marriages or asking a gay teen to step down from a leadership role because he happened to be gay.

my ponderings for the day

New Life Lutheran Church of Alcona County in Spruce, MI.

Settling in and enjoying my call to New Life. My first Sunday was canceled do to a snowstorm, I have already had a funeral and I have a wedding scheduled already. Jumping in with both feet once again.

I finally got real furniture that didn't come from my parents. I guess I have to admit to being an adult. I will post pictures of my ordination when and if I ever get any. Hope all is well with all of you

CALL

A quick update! I have a call!!!! I have been called to New Life Lutheran Church in Spruce, MI!!! Ordination is Feb 15 at 4 pm in East Lansing. I would love to see you there!

well I can't annoy my friends about their blogs if I don't update mine....

Not a whole lot new here in michigan. We got some snow yesterday so I got about 4 hours of shoveling the driveway and sidewalk in. I am sore but a good kind of sore.

I wish i could post that i was an employed with a home pastor but that is not the case yet...perhaps if things go well i might be able to say that by mid January...but we will see.

I am heading up to mcbain to hang out with the fam for Christmas on Monday, and will be computerless as mine is being sent back to dell to be fixed before my warranty expires. I will have to see if I have the money to renew it or not.

I would post new pics but i don't have that many new ones as my camera is now a piece of junk part. grrrr and all my new pics are on my phone and lord knows where the cord is to hook the phone up to the lappy....but Ethan and Jessica are beyond cute!!!!!!

alright on to watch hockey. Later all

World Aids Day

Today is World Aids Days. Across the world, millions of people are mourning the loss of loved ones and praying that their name will not be added to the list of lives claimed by HIV/Aids.

Do your part to remember this day!

Stop misinformation; volunteer for your local HIV/Aids network; get tested; be safe; support your friends and and family; live life to the fullest.

You are not alone

July News

well I can't very well annoy others about their blog if I don't update mine on occasion as well...still unemployed and still homeless....but the church I interviewed with has done some checking on my references...so hopefully I will know something yes or no soon!!! that is the hope...til then i am still hanging out in McBain and the greater Lansing area!

Hoping to have some more fun with my nephew splashing in mud puddles soon, as Ethan enjoys both throwing rocks in them and stomping through them. He also likes fireworks but thinks they are too loud.














Happy 1 month anniversary(plus a few days) to Joel and Jen!!!! It was lots of fun to be in their wedding!

Graduated, Homeless and Currently Unemployed

Yeah I graduated!!!!!...See a picture with my Advisor, Dr. Mary Hughes to prove it. I am now the proud owner of a Masters of Divinity.

I am back in Michigan awaiting a call to a church somewhere here in Michigan. I have interviewed though I am not able to say where at this point and am awaiting more info and news from them.

When I am not gallivanting around the state or other places in the Midwest, I am staying at my brothers in McBain with very limited cell phone service and internet...sigh.
That's all the news that is the news at the moment... a lot of hurry up and wait. Later all

Well it's the first day of the final semester of the final year of seminary...I don't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, I will be so very glad not to be in school anymore but this ending means I won't be spending lots of time with my nearest and dearest friends anymore. I guess that is a part of life, but I don't have to like it.

We will always remember and never forget

I spent several Saturday mornings in the middle of June on the Capital steps in Lansing, MI over the years saying those words...

We will always remember and never forget and then a list of names...regular ordinary names like John, Sally, Tom, Helen, Carlos, LaKeisha, etc. I spent time reading names of people I had never met and because their life had been claimed by HIV/AIDS, I never would. People who had families, friends, jobs and hobbies just like you and I. People who could have been and in some way are you and I.

Today, we honor and remember them. We pray for a cure. We work for more education, better funding and larger awareness of this global pandemic that knows no race, creed or orientation.

Today I remember you. I honor you. I pray that this would be the last year I have to do so. I commit that I will never forget. I promise to tell others about you.

back in the grind

So once again I am horrible at keeping this updated...be that as it may, a quick word that I am back at seminary in Columbus for god willing, my final year. I have been keeping pretty busy and am in the midst of trying to get all kinds of homework done before Fall Break happens next week.

Hope all of you are doing well and I will try to get started on a semi regular posting schedule...that being said I leave you with a couple random pictures of summer adventures.

The one on the top is from some where in the UP on the banks of Lake Michigan following my brother(and most of my earthly possessions in a Uhaul)who came to Wisconsin and helped me move..Thanks Bear!!! The other is of funky storm clouds near a farm not far from Bear's house in Michigan

Chilling in Michigan waiting to get back to school. Thanks to my brother for helping me move....the pic is what I was looking at for the 10 hour trip from Wisconsin to Michigan. Oye

Need to get over to Muskegon to see the Vore's. Happy to be in Lansing where there is a lot of internet access. However, I am housesitting and my friends new roommate is here and wasn't supposed to be here til August so that's a little weird...

Harry Potter 7 is good...My theories proved correct =)


am really tired so I will try to write more later....

Your Score: Question mark

You scored 53% Sociability and 29% Sophistication!

You are the soul of the inquiring mind--you are the glory of the scientist and the bane of the pseudo-scientist. But, more than that, you, more than any other, can indicate changes in pitch in dialogue. What other punctuation mark can do that? Yes, you are one of the "common herd." So? The problem with that is . . . ? You get along well with others, because they all respect you. You have no natural enemies.

Link: written by Gazda on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Mother's Day

The following really isn't a sermon...but it was what I was led to speak Mother's Day Sunday...feel free to comment.... Happy Mother's Day Mom.

John 14:23-29

Have you ever had one of those Sundays….those particular Sundays where you sat in church, you listened to and sang the hymns, you heard the words of the Bible read…and you listened to the word proclaimed from a pulpit….and sat and thought…Holy cow…this sermon was meant for me. This pastor knew exactly where my head was this week.

As I reflected on the lessons for this week…as I thought about world events…as I look back on the last month, let alone just the last week here in this place…as I look at the calendar and think…wow, I only have about 8 more weeks here…and as I look at the calendar and see the date…and see the Holiday written there…It was and is a Holy Cow…I was meant to read this lesson this day…

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

17 years ago today…this very day…a Mother’s Day much like this one, I was confirmed at St John Evangelical Lutheran Church in Lake City, MI. It was a big day…not only was it one to celebrate Mom, but it was the day that if I really think about it, it is the first time I was conscious of the nudge that God was giving me. A nudge that led me here eventually…well after many more nudges a few shoves and perhaps even a zap with a cattle prod or two…that led me here to being in a pulpit, heading full steam toward the end of internship in my third of seminary…edging closer and closer to life as a full fledged pastor.

I can remember a lot about that day…what I wore, the necklace that my godmother gave me, my 3 classmates and I standing at the altar rail and answering I will with the help of God as Pastor Rich asked us if we now were ready to fulfill promises that had been made at our baptism. I remember what the choir sang and I remember having a lot of family in church for and with me that day. Much like the day at the middle school in October for all of us.

I can’t say I remember what the lessons were for that day…nor would they have the same meaning to me then as they do now…But these certainly would be appropriate…a gospel that brings us peace and a second lesson promising a place...a holy city where all will walk by light and gates will never be shut… What wonderful visions both of those are. Wonderful and marvelous…good for confirmation students to hear and good for all of us to hear. Great promises that God gives us…and particularly wonderful on Mothers Day.

Now, if I were a cynical person, I could say that this Mother’s day we are all celebrating is just another holiday created by Hallmark, Godiva Chocaliteers and every florist in the world. We should be celebrating our mother’s each and every day…although since we don’t, mothers certainly deserve a day especially for them. Today happens to be the day. Today also happens to be a day with lessons that fit right in with the spirit of today.

What mother wouldn’t want a day with these lessons, one’s filled with peace, welcome and openness. I would imagine dreams that virtually all mothers would have for their children are ones where peace will be a way of life, where their child will be welcomed and loved no matter where they go, and the world will be a place where barriers are no longer necessary. I realize I am making an assumption with that statement but it seems to be a pretty safe assumption to make.

I would imagine some of you have already had a pretty big day today…perhaps you woke up to breakfast in bed…with a kitchen that didn’t resemble a disaster when you saw it. You may have been greeted by cards, gifts or flowers. Sometimes my brother and I didn’t have a whole lot of time or money to get our mom anything for this her special day so we would try really hard not to fight today and do all of our chores and maybe even a few extra ones without being asked.

Perhaps you have plans to go with your family after church to go to lunch or spend the day out on a boat soaking in the sun or catching fish. You could also be planning a trip to so see grandma. Or potentially you just want to spend the day with your loved ones not doing much of anything at all….and that is exactly what you will do. Others of you might be planning on calling your mom later today because she doesn’t live around here. For some, this is just another day like any other on the calendar, and you are glad that all the crazy only 2 more days till mother’s day commercials will no longer be in the paper, TV or radio…

For others, for me…you look at this day and wonder what the blazes you are going to do with it…because you no longer have a mother to share it with. Sure…you have pictures, you have stories, you have memories…but that doesn’t really compare to picking up the phone, dialing a number and say hey Mom, Happy day!

So this day….this Mother’s day, the confirmation anniversary day, is a bittersweet one for me. I look at Mother’s day on the calendar and don’t a clue as to what to do with it. I am too far away to go put flowers on my mom’s grave. I don’t have a yard to mow the lawn in or flower gardens to weed or new plants to put in like mom would often spend the day doing. Bear and I as we grew older and then Rebecca as she became a part of our family had sort of made it our mother’s day tradition to take mom to one of the local nurseries after church and buy her some plants. Sometimes we would spend an hour or more with her just going to various places, looking at plants and flowers and then wind up buying the very first ones we had seen at the very first nursery.

So my mother’s day becomes one of sharing stories and memories like the time she flipped our riding lawnmower in our ditch, and became quite indignant with me when I told her if she did it again, she wouldn’t be allowed to mow it anymore. Her response was...Christina(which told me I was in trouble) you are 2.5 hours away, you can’t stop me…to which my response was I can’t stop you but a well placed phone call and a 5 mile trip from town to your house by your son will…

My last memory of my mom was one of our favorite things…she had been hospitalized for a couple days but was bound and determined that would watch the super bowl from home…in her words… “on my own couch, eating my own food, laughing as loud as I want at the commercials and falling asleep if the game was boring” She was released from the hospital on Super Bowl Saturday and we spent part of the afternoon watching the Michigan State Spartans men’s basketball team together on the phone…Michigan State had a habit and still does to some extent of trying find a way to lose a game even if they were winning by 20 points. I think we were playing Michigan which makes the game all the more important; in our family…we could lose every other game all year if we just beat the wolverines. MSU won and in our celebration we decided that we had been on the phone long enough and that I would call her tomorrow. I told her I loved her and that we could talk about all the stupid commercials when I called. Bear and I would later joke that she had the best seat in the house to watch the Superbowl…a view from heaven….

So this week as I looked at the calendar…and looked at the lessons….and wondered what I was supposed to do this Sunday, I was greeted by the words… Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

I have been given peace…a peace that passes all of my understanding… but peace none the less. I have been given the words I needed to read this week…the peace I needed to feel this day and this week. I have been given the peace that I know that even though my heart is troubled this day, it will not be forever.

I can’t tell you what the future holds for me…I have plans for my summer after I hand my keys to Pastor Halaas/Lorna, get in my car and follow my brother back to Michigan. I have plans and hopes to keep up with the happenings here at Augustana/Barronett and be able to remember birthdays, graduations and the like. I hope to be assigned to someplace cold like Northwestern Minnesota like Melissa… given God’s sense of humor I’ll wind up in Texas…but I don’t know that any of these things will really happen.

What I do know is that I have been given peace…and some day my heart will not be troubled or worried. I know in that peace the light of the Risen Lord will reign forever. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” Alleluia. Amen

ug....it has been way too long since posting current here(the interncicle story is from the winter)....course that means I have been really busy....Easter...well really all of Holy Week, traveling to Michigan, and then Dedication of our new addition at Augustana...Holy buckets of craziness.... I will try to get some sermons up here tommorrow or the next day as well as my class schedule or something or perhaps even an intelligent thought and or rant about something... i have a few things I could rant about...lol

later all

Chrisy

Adventures of the Interncicle

So one day here on internship, the church secretary came into work, only to find that she couldn't get the door open.

We had a water pipe break and literally ice the door shut...so that was fixed and all returned to normal or so we thought...I had been at an meeting most of the frozen shut door day(a Monday).

When I returned to my office Tuesday, I noticed that it was a bit chilly there, but I figured no big deal haven't been here for a couple days, the heat had been turned down etc... It progressively became colder in my office batcave, but I chalked that up to being in a cinderblock office in the ground when the temp outside had a high of 0... I think actually temp was a balmy -10 that day. By Wednesday...even I was cold(Note the pic above), so we called the heating repair guy, who came to the church and spent the better part of a day trying to figure out why there was no heat in my end of the building....only to finally figure out that when they turned off the water to fix the pipe to prevent the door from being frozen shut...well they neglected to turn the hot water back on that travels to my office and provide heat....

So it was turned on and I am no longer and Interncicle...yeah...

Hello out there

so it has been way too long since I posted anything...i have pics of my latest adventures as the Interncicle that I might post here or on Blogserflections but I don't think the puter here in the office has the memory card slot to pull the off so that will have to wait til tonight

It's been an interesting couple of months...lots of traveling...which was both fun and very tiring and I am most certainly keeping busy. I head to Michigan at the end of this month for a synod capital campaign that I have been asked to speak at. It's Lent which means I continue to have weekly sermons to write but now I have added weekly Bible Studies and mid week services.

I'll try to get more up on here tonight before the weekly golf game!

later